It's Over!!

The temp job is done, my friends. No more Stupid Chrissy or Big Tuna. No more driving to the extreme southwest suburbs. I know it saddens you.

What happens next: I'm teaching 5 classes in the next quarter. One of them is Creative Writing, online. Online Creative Writing. It should be interesting. The others are a variety of literature, composition and humanities.

Back to the classroom. I'm pumped.

You With The Chitter Chatter

On Friday, after all the ladies returned from the group outing to the vandalized bathroom, we were all very excited. There was a lot of jabbering. Then, out of nowhere, a team leader swooped down and "shushed" me. She told us all to stop with the chitter-chatter.

Teachers and employers have been attempting to get me to stifle my chitter chatter for the past 28 years of my life.

I'm not stopping my chitter chatter anytime soon, FYI.

Bathroom Vandalism

On Friday, there was a serious announcement at the temp job. Some lady we'd never seen before came in and alerted us to the fact that there had been BATHROOM VANDALISM in the ladies bathroom on Thursday. When questioned about what constituted bathroom vandalism, the lady would not tell us about the act that had occurred. She told us to be vigilant, to keep our eyes open and watch for any additional bathroom vandalism.

After she finished her speech, all the ladies in the office rushed to the bathroom, of course.

All traces of vandalism had been removed.

While we were all huddled in the bathroom, one lady said she had been using the facilities when she heard a loud bang and noticed that the toilet paper holder-thing in one of the stalls was on the floor. Was this the vandalism?

We might never find out.

Dr. Stupid Chrissy

Yesterday, at the temp job, the girl who sits diagonally from me complained about an ulcer she had in her mouth. I could sympathize; ulcers can make a person miserable. Stupid Chrissy chimed in with her professional diagnosis:

Maybe you have a zit in your mouth? I mean, that sometimes happens.

Seriously, where did they find this woman?

Joining The Ranks

Big Tuna just got a really horrible crew cut that reveals his knobby, bumpy head.

It's bad.

A tiny little part of me shudders and dies every time I see it.

-5 With A -20 Windchill

Welcome to winter. I am fortunate to have the day off today, since I had a radio interview this morning (it went really well) and I have a job interview this afternoon, and then I get to take the Neon in for the 3rd time to try and figure out why the steering wheel shudders and vibrates around 30mph-40mph, mostly when I take my foot off the gas, but not when I apply the brakes. Any thoughts, readers? My dad thinks it's tire-related.

Back to the weather. Bitter cold in the aftermath of our first blizzard of the season. I'm sitting at my desk, drinking coffee, decked out in flannel pajamas and covered with the afghan one of my great-aunties crocheted for my high school graduation. I'm going to have to brave the icy world later today, and I'm steeling myself for it. Truth is, I love this weather. I love the excitement of ridiculous windchills and how the crisp, dry air steals your breath and heightens sensation. Everything seems amplified. Sounds carry farther and sinuses clear.

Driving home from the temp job in the midst of the blizzard, I was rocking out to some classic 70s tunes. I was really feeling Marvin Gaye, Donna Summer et. al. I wasn't stressed or bummed out, except when a giant SUV rode my ass on 494. After I got home, Prince Charming and I made a run to Cossetta's for some ziti with ricotta, meatballs, breadsticks and cannoli. I love that place. St. Paul was beautiful in the fresh, powdery snow with street lamps lit and Christmas decorations out on the majority of houses.

I think this IS the most wonderful time of the year.

Passive-Aggressive

A note taped to BOTH sides of the office door:

TEMPS, THE FOOD IN THE LUNCHROOM IS NOT FOR YOU. PLEASE DO NOT SAMPLE IT.